


Forget-me-nots (do not forget me)

by S_Horne



Series: August in Bloom [26]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Child Abandonment, Established Relationship, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark at MIT, M/M, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Past Child Abuse, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:36:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20412802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Horne/pseuds/S_Horne
Summary: Even when it started to rain some days after the little hand started to move past the number 4 on Tony’s watch and all of Tony’s school-teachers had to lock the doors and go home, it was okay that no one had come to pick Tony up. One of the nice ladies from school was always kind enough to bundle a wet Tony into their car and try and give him a big smile in the rear-view mirror. Tony tried to tell himself that it was okay that his daddy never remembered about him, when his teeth chattered and his wet socks made his toes feel like ice.His daddy loved him, even if he didn’t know how to show it./5 times Tony is forgotten, and the 1 time he realises he never will be





	Forget-me-nots (do not forget me)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I went in on this

**1/** His daddy was often late. It was okay, though, because Tony knew that his daddy had an important job that kept him busy a lot of the time. It wasn’t always fun for Tony, though, even when he was told time and time again that his daddy was very sorry to be missing him again.

And he got told that a lot. It wasn’t rare for his daddy to go for days without seeing him because he was stuck in meetings or out on a business trip in some country Tony couldn’t pronounce. Sometimes it was even weeks, and there was a big time difference that meant Tony would be tucked up in bed and fast asleep before it would be finishing time at his daddy’s work. That’s what Jarvis always said, anyway, and why would Tony not listen to Jarvis?

On those weeks, Jarvis would pull out a big, colourful globe over breakfast and point out random blobs with funny names that Tony giggled about. Apparently, that’s where his daddy was and Tony would beg Jarvis to tell him all about the places.

Some of them had animals that Tony had never, ever seen, not even at the big zoo. When his daddy got home from those trips, he never wanted to tell Tony about what he’d seen, though. He was usually too busy packing for the next place, but it was okay, because that meant that Tony got to watch Jarvis spin the big globe again and learn about somewhere new.

Having a busy daddy also meant that sometimes Tony didn’t get picked up from school on time. When his daddy was actually at home and had been told to pick Tony up, he sometimes forgot. It didn’t happen all the time, but there were days when Tony would be left sitting on a bench outside of school, his little legs swinging through the air as all the other kids waved goodbye and headed home, their hands firmly held by their own mummies and daddies.

It was okay, though, because there were people who were more important than Tony. He got told that often enough; like whenever his lower lip started to wobble when his daddy pushed him out of his big office or when his daddy didn’t have time to look at the colourful drawings he’d done at school of them holding hands in front of their big house. (Tony couldn’t find a nice brown for the bricks because one of the other boys had wanted to use it and their picture had been bigger and took longer to complete, but the red was close enough and Tony had just really wanted his daddy to see it and tell him how good it was. It was okay, though, because Jarvis had smiled at it widely enough for Tony to giggle with pride and even take it home to show his Ana.)

Even when it started to rain some days after the little hand started to move past the number 4 on Tony’s watch and all of Tony’s school-teachers had to lock the doors and go home, it was okay that no one had come to pick Tony up. One of the nice ladies from school was always kind enough to bundle a wet Tony into their car and try and give him a big smile in the rear-view mirror. Tony tried to tell himself that it was okay that his daddy never remembered about him, when his teeth chattered and his wet socks made his toes feel like ice.

His daddy loved him, even if he didn’t know how to show it.

♡♡♡♡♥

**2/** Gone. Jarvis was gone. The only person that had ever made Tony feel as though he had a family was gone. Lying in the ground, somewhere deep beneath the earth that Tony stood on.

It was hard to comprehend. Every memory that Tony had seemed to have Jarvis in there, in one way or another. It didn’t seem real that he wouldn’t be in any more for the years to come.

Jarvis hadn’t even seemed that old. Tony supposed that he must have been, but he was always so youthful in Tony’s eyes. Maybe that was because he was forever running around after a mischievous Tony and that was bound to keep someone young and fit.

Who was going to chase after him now? There would be no pushback when Tony stole a fresh cookie from the cooling rack, or no playful eye rolls when Tony ‘borrowed’ Jarvis’s apron for his experiments. It wasn’t a nice thought.

The funeral was small, at least in comparison to others Tony had attended. That was another thing that didn’t make sense to Tony’s dazed mind. Jarvis was one of the best people Tony had ever met. There had been more people at the funeral of some Great-Uncle from Italy that Tony hadn’t ever seen outside of his own, bachelor-style apartment in New York than there were at Jarvis’s funeral. Why weren’t there more people mourning? Didn’t everyone know what a brilliant and wonderful man Jarvis had been?

Why was Tony standing alone?

“Hey, buttercup.” Tony didn’t turn to see the woman at his side, though he sagged into the arm that was wrapped around his waist. “Thanks for coming.”

Tony swallowed. “Was he… did – was he wearing his apron?”

Ana let out a wet laugh and squeezed Tony a bit tighter. “Don’t think so.”

There was a moment of silence before Ana dropped her head down onto Tony’s shoulder and pressed a light kiss to his thick blazer. “He spoke of you, you know. Right at the very end. Told me to take care of you, told me that he lo–”

“Don’t.” Tony shook his head once. His vision was suddenly blurry and he blinked in quick succession, trying to fix his eyes on a small weed springing up between two paving stones.

Ironic, really. If Jarvis had seen that, he’d have dived on it immediately. _No place for weeds, _he used to say to a young Tony dancing around in the garden, _they only spread and twist. Ugly things, young Sir. No place for them in your garden. _

“But he did,” Ana whispered. “You were the reason he stayed. For you, my lelkem.”

It should have made Tony’s heart warm, but all it did was remind Tony that he was the reason Jarvis had stayed in a house full of alcohol and screaming and anger. Had put up with the long hours and the constant yelling and the whining, crying child that was just desperate for someone to _please play for just one minute_, or _please take a second to look at a picture of a crude stick figure holding a pretty flower_.

But there would be no more playing and no more admiring of pictures. Because Jarvis was gone, and Ana had no reason to stick around any longer.

Tony would be sent back to boarding school and communication with his parents would only dwindle without Jarvis there to force a weekly phone call. There’d be no care packages, no photographs of Jarvis’s blooming garden. There’d be no freshly-baked lemon squares for when Tony got home and no more hugs that made Tony feel as though he was literally being stitched back together.

At that point, Tony would even take a bedtime story if it just meant that he could feel Jarvis next to him for five more minutes. But that was impossible and, soon, Tony would be forgotten again.

Taking a deep breath and turning slightly, Tony returned Ana’s hug and pressed his own kiss to her head. He let his eyes fall shut as he held her, wishing her nothing but the best for wherever she ended up. Tony had forced his parents to set aside money for Jarvis’s retirement – and wasn’t that a kick in the head – and he knew that he would find some way to push that down to Ana. He had to.

He had to for Jarvis.

“Take care,” Tony murmured, voice barely audible above her gentle cries, “mama.”

♡♡♡♥♥

**3/** Tony had never really understood the appeal of Christmas. Sure, it sounded like a good time and the movies always painted it as an idyllic season, but Tony had never gotten it.

Maybe it was the way that it always seemed too perfect. Nothing was ever perfect.

Tony had been taught that sad fact from an early age. As a scientist, his father had told him to question everything and to always expect an explosion. It didn’t seem possible that Christmas was going to be this unbelievable, amazing time filled with love and laughter and overindulgence where nothing could ever go wrong and nobody was ever anything but happy.

Especially not when he was left alone in a scarily large house with not a single decoration to be seen. Not that anyone knew where they were kept. Without Jarvis there to fetch them out of hiding and take charge of putting them up, the Stark mansion stayed in its own, festive-less bubble.

_“Darling, you knew we were vacationing in Italy for the next month,” _Maria crooned into Tony’s ear. _“I wrote it in your last letter. It’s too cold in New York for your father.”_

Right. The last letter. The one that had been sent only days before Tony had left school and had been redirected back to their mansion, arriving at exactly the same time as Tony had. The news that Tony’s parents would be spending the entire month of December in a different country had met Tony on the doorstep of the empty and unwelcoming house.

“No, mom,” Tony said, moodily kicking at the bottom stair, the marble cold even through his sock. “I know. I just thought, because of it being Chris–”

_“Maria! Maria, we have to leave. The car is here.”_

Even through the phone, Howard’s voice was loud and demanding. Tony winced despite himself, utterly hating his reaction but not being strong enough to stop it. It wasn’t a problem that Howard wouldn’t be there for Tony’s school break, but he had missed his mother something fierce. He’d been weirdly looking forward to seeing her, even if it would have been short snippets between parties and galas. It would have at least been something.

_“Darling, I have to go. You can come out, okay? I’ll send a–”_

“No, mom.” Tony sighed deeply and ran his fingers over the leaves of a fake plant sitting on a plinth next to the downstairs phone. He’d always hated the thing, but for some reason it was suddenly drawing him in.

Maybe because it was still there. A constant, when everything else had changed. Or moved on.

“I have school work,” he said as neutrally as he could. “And I go back right after New Year. I just thought you would be–”

_“Maria!”_

Tony flinched violently and nearly knocked the damn plant to the floor.

_“Sorry, darling, I really have to go. It’s the Anderson’s Charity Gala tonight. You know, there are that many events in December, I can hardly keep up. I always wondered why so many people chose to hold their parties in December; isn’t it funny? Anyway, are you sure you won’t come?”_

Typical. Tony wanted to scream. The world and his wife knew why the parties were always held in December, and yet Maria hadn’t joined the dots. It seemed that without Jarvis there to buy a tree and force Maria to take notice of the change of season with garlands and lights covering her house, she walked around with her eyes closed.

“No, mom,” Tony replied dutifully, the words spilling from his mouth without much thought at that point. He felt like a broken record player. Or a robot. “Enjoy yourself.”

His answer was a kissing sound followed by a dial tone. He let the phone fall from his hand, watching it swing from its long chord instead of replacing it in its cradle. It wasn’t as though she would call again anyway, and Tony didn’t feel like speaking to anyone else. It would be quiet through to New Year.

Tony’s shoulders slumped and he dropped down onto the floor, back against the wall as he looked around the bleak entranceway that was bare of anything remotely homey, never mind Christmassy.

He sighed and resigned himself to his fate. Takeout and a bit of peace and quiet. Things could be worse, he tried to tell himself when his throat grew tight. 

“Merry Christmas, mom.”

♡♡♥♥♥

**4/ **"That’s so cool.”

Tony to smile at the awe in Rhodey’s voice. “Yeah, I guess so,” he said, his own voice flatter than it should have been given the topic of discussion.

“I can’t believe you’re going to spend Thanksgiving in France, of all places.”

“Mhm.” Tony looked down and pretended that he was concentrating deeply on deciding what band t-shirts he should throw in his duffle. “Dad’s got some big country estate there. They don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving in Europe, but it’s something of a tradition.”

“Wow.” Rhodey huffed a breath of air and Tony watched out of the corner of his eye as he flopped back onto his bed and grinned up at the ceiling. “I wish I could vacation in France every year. You’re gonna have such a great time. Don’t forget about me, will you? I want at least one picture a day.”

It took all of Tony’s willpower and continuing desperation to be seen as _cool _to not mutter something ridiculous about not ever being able to forget about Rhodey. It wasn’t likely, given that he was the only friend that Tony had ever had.

Instead, he plastered on a cheeky smirk and winked over at Rhodey, who had twisted onto his side to look at him expectantly. “I’ll try not to. But you know what the French ladies are like. Stunning, beautiful, _magnifique.”_

Rhodey didn’t return his wink, choosing instead to roll his eyes and push himself up to sit on the edge of his bed.

“God, you’re such a child,” he said, even as his tone belied his fondness. He softened a little and dropped his gaze to a slight rip at the bottom of his thick, woollen sweater. “I know we couldn’t possibly compare with the wonders of France, but my folks really want to meet you. If you ever have a spare weekend, or you decide that actually I’m right and that France has nothing on Philly, then you’re welcome to come stay with me, kid.”

Tony wanted to cry. He wanted to drop to his knees on front of Rhodey and bury his head in his lap, just like he used to do with Jarvis when he was little. Rhodey was the big brother that Tony had always wanted, had always longed for. He was someone that actually listened to Tony and remembered the things he said. There was nothing that Tony wanted more in the world than to go home with Rhodey and finally meet the Mama he spoke so highly of.

But that would mean admitting the truth, and Starks always kept their heads high. Even if _that_ meant living a lie.

“Thanks, Rhodes. But there’s a bar in France with a lower drinking age than Massachusetts and it’s crying out to me.”

Rhodey laughed and stood up. “Well then, kid. I’d better get going and I know nothing else I can say will ever rival that. Have the best time.”

Tony looked down the duffel open on his bed and sighed. He stayed quiet as Rhodey finished checking his bags and grabbed his phone, unplugging his charger and throwing it in his jacket pocket.

Finally, he turned to Tony and grinned. “Remember. One photo a day.”

Tony summoned the best, cockiest grin he could and saluted. “Of course. Two if I bag twins.”

With a loud and final laugh, because of _course_ Rhodey knew Tony wasn’t serious about actually doing that, Rhodey left the room, the door slamming loudly behind him as he went. When he was gone, Tony’s entire body slumped and he fell down onto his bed, kicking his duffel to the floor. It wasn’t as though he needed it, after all. He wasn’t going anywhere.

He hadn’t lied to Rhodey – would _never _lie to James. His parents really did have a house in France and they spent every Thanksgiving there.

They just never thought to invite Tony.

♡♥♥♥♥

**5/** It was stupid, really. Tony had always told himself that he was strong. Independent. _Bull_-_headed_, Rhodey would say with a grin. Whatever word he was, he certainly wasn’t the sort of person to stand by his phone and check it every three seconds in case he’d missed a notification.

Except, that was exactly what he was doing.

No one could blame him really – or at least that’s what he told himself. After all, it wasn’t every day that one lost their virginity to the captain of the college’s football team, was it? Tony was utterly giddy about it; still riding the high of his first other-person-present orgasm and the idea of actually having a boyfriend for the first time.

Ty was gorgeous. He was a few years older than Tony, having taken a gap year (or two, or three) before completing his degree. He was everything that Tony wasn’t and from the very first moment they’d met, Tony had been smitten.

It had only taken a few drunken kisses at a few loud, crowded, and not-actually-that-fun frat parties before Ty had remembered Tony’s name and asked him on a real date. Though it had all been cleverly engineered by Tony and had been all he’d wanted for a couple of months, Tony had still been shocked. He’d played it off, though, dancing his hand up and down Ty’s arm and batting his eyelashes like he knew what he was doing. Pretending to be cocky and experienced was something that Tony was quite good at; running his tongue over his bottom lip and pressing his thighs into Ty’s were moves he’d learnt from watching escorts at his dad’s galas. The tricks had served him well.

Despite Rhodey’s warnings and Tony’s inexperience, one thing had very quickly led to another between Ty and Tony.

Tony didn’t lift his eyes from his phone when he heard a key turn in the lock and Rhodey shuffle through.

“Still nothing?”

Tony bit his lip, pressing the lock button of his cell again. Just in case the screen hadn’t lit up with the text. It did that sometimes if the lighting wasn’t quite right, because it was very sensitive. That was all.

“I’m sorry, Tones.”

“Don’t be,” Tony said, digging his teeth in even harder. The way he was sitting was starting to get uncomfortable and his thighs were burning. He didn’t have experience to test against, of course, but he wasn’t sure that the feeling was entirely what he was meant to have.

There had also been some blood in his underwear when he’d gone to the toilet around lunchtime. It had been a day and a bit since they’d _done it _and Tony was still feeling the aches. Was that normal? How was he supposed to know? Surely it wasn’t meant to feel like that every time.

“He said he had practice until late today. Got a game on Saturday. Quite a big one, I think. He said he’d be busy until then. And might stay over – it’s an away match.”

“Okay. I’m sure that’s it.” Rhodey’s voice was soft, understanding. It wasn’t pitying, but Tony still felt the need to turn away. There were a few bumps, the dropping of books onto a hard desk. “Want to go to the dining hall? Taco Tuesday today.”

“You go,” Tony said, not wanting to look up and show Rhodey his watery eyes. He was just being a baby. Ty was going to text him. He’d said so, hadn’t he?

Tony pressed the lock button once more for good measure. “I’m not hungry.”

“Nah, it’s alright Tones.” The bed dipped next to Tony and an arm snaked around his shoulders, a strong body warm next to his. “I can hang out here for a bit. We don’t want to miss anything, do we.”

Tony sniffed.

Ty was going to text. He hadn’t forgotten; he was just busy. He _was_.

“Right. Thanks.”

“It’s fine, kid. Anytime.”

♥♥♥♥♥ 

**6/** Tony was fed up of seeing midnight. It was becoming a disgustingly common occurrence for Tony to be at work until the early hours of the morning, not crawling into his bed until it was nearly time to be getting up again. The constant repetition of next to no sleep and a manic day was beginning to grate on him, but there wasn’t much he could do to change it. Not when he was trying to make a name for himself in the company and prove that he was a valuable member of staff.

Tony shivered in the cold morning air as he exited the taxi, shoving his wallet back into his pocket with icy hands. The sooner he had a hot shower and dived deep below his covers, the better. He walked up to his apartment almost by muscle memory alone. He was barely awake enough for coherent thoughts, never mind rational thinking, which is why he didn’t question why his front door was unlocked and the lights had been switched back on. 

It wasn’t until he walked into his living room that he stopped short and his brain seemed to wake up a little.

Tony’s mouth fell open as he took in the sight before him. The entire living room had been taken over, every flat surface covered with a flameless candle or a bunch of beautiful flowers. Tony’s gaze didn’t linger for long enough to work out what they were before he moved on to seek out the mastermind behind the operation.

And there he was. Steve Rogers. The absolute (and only) love of Tony’s life. He was stood in the middle of the living room, a smart suit made more casual by the absence of a tie and his feet bare, toes curled into Tony’s plush, shag rug. There were yet more flowers clasped in Steve’s hands, a huge bouquet that covered his whole stomach and chest with blooms.

“Welcome home,” Steve said before Tony could get a semi-coherent thought from his brain down to his mouth.

Without tearing his eyes away from Steve’s, Tony dropped his keys somewhere to his left, where he vaguely knew there was a table ready and waiting.

“What are you doing here?”

Steve’s smile was blinding, soft and sweet and gentle and entirely too beautiful for Tony’s heart to not explode. Before Steve could give an answer, Tony continued.

“I said I was going to be working late.” The words leaving his mouth felt distant, sounded quiet. All of Tony’s focus was on the fact that his apartment had been turned into a scene from a cheesy rom-com. And that it wasn’t even as an apology. “We agreed we’d meet tomorrow.”

“We did.” Steve made no move to step closer to Tony, even as he dropped his bouquet down a little and held out his hand. “But I decided that I didn’t want to wait that long. Besides, tomorrow isn’t our anniversary.”

Tony’s heart stuttered. “Today isn’t either. Not now. It’s past midnight. I worked too late.”

Steve shrugged, apparently unbothered by the flaw in his logic. “It’s close enough. We haven’t been to bed yet.”

“You didn’t have to wait up,” Tony said, his feet finally taking him past the threshold.

“I know.” Simple. The words were causal, carefree. It was as if Steve actually meant them. “I wanted to.”

And that was so different to anything Tony had ever known. Tony was used to being a commodity, an afterthought. Even his own family treated him as an inconvenience more than a person.

But there, at one o’clock in the morning, was a man who had transformed Tony’s living room into the most romantic thing Tony had ever seen, all because he hadn’t wanted some stupid day to slip past without a celebration.

Tony didn’t even try to hide emotion he felt, letting his face show what his heart was telling him for once, as he threw himself across the room and into Steve’s waiting arms.

“Happy anniversary.”

Tony squeezed Steve even tighter and kissed his bare collarbone. “Happy anniversary.”

And that was exactly the moment that Tony finally realised he wasn’t going to be forgotten ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> [I have a tumblr](https://s-horne.tumblr.com/)


End file.
